Peaches & Herbs
by NautiBitz
Summary: In an imagined Season 6, Spike and Buffy shed their inhibitions -- and their pants -- after a bite of enchanted fruit. / Originally published in 2001
1. Magically Delicious

**_Peaches & Herbs_ by NautiBitz**

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CHAPTER ONE:** "Magically Delicious"**

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**Summary**: During (_gasp!_) Dawn's birthday party, Spike and Buffy shed their inhibitions — and their clothes — thanks to an accidental sampling of forbidden fruit.

**Timeline**: Season 6, sort of. This is a post-Gift imagining of Buffy's life after resurrection. (Though it IS fairly close to what actually ended up happening in Season 6, particularly during Buffy's birthday party episode, because I have awesome psychic powers that way.)

**Originally Published/Completed**: August 2001 (**Revised: **Sept. 2007)

**Stats**: 3 chapters | 5,342 words | _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ | Spike/Buffy | NC-17/M (not for kids)

**Genres**: Comedy, Smut, Romance

**Awards Won**: _"Best Smut"_ _Award_ from Born for War, _"Best Birthday (Holiday) Fic"_ from Forbidden Love Awards.

**Author's Note**: This fic is in answer to **Laure Alexander**'s 2001 birthday challenge that included these **requirements**: _"A fic about any two characters, set in the upcoming seasons. Make it romantic and silly, no heavy angst. Smut is optional, love is required. Must-haves: One character surprises the other with a romantic gesture; pink sweetheart roses; a Maine Coon kitten; Elephant Love Medley from Moulin Rouge, and these optional elements _(I used all of them)_: Those candles that don't blow out; a kitchen mishap; erotic use of spanking; mention of Neil Gaiman; a crossbow; peach scented bubble bath; something catches on fire _—_ not the kitchen; homemade music CD; champagne; a Kevin Smith movie; filet mignon with gorgonzola sauce; quote from Shakespeare or Sappho._

**Special Thanks**: To Laure, of course, for the inspiration!

**Disclaimer**: Buffy, Spike, and everyone else mentioned in this story were created by an evil mastermind and are owned by some huge conglomerate and one day I shall lure them all into my stable and spank, spank, spank them into submission. But until then, I own only that which is mine.

**Distribution**: Links only, please. Do not reprint. Do not post translations. Thanks!

**Rights:** I do not own these characters or the worlds they inhabit. However, **the text I have written** is **not YOURS** to paste into your own fic in any way, shape or form; either in part or in whole. **That is called plagiarism, and it is not cool**. Not that YOU would ever do that, because YOU are awesome. Obviously. :)

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**Chapter summary**: It's Dawn's birthday! What could possibly go wrong?

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_**"Ripeness is all."**_  
- (William Shakespeare, _King Lear_)

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**"Amy! Come out, it's okay!" **Willow coaxed, a deep purple duvet covering her neck.

Strolling into the dorm room with an armful of books, Tara smiled at the sight of her girlfriend's butt protruding from under the bed. "What are you doing?"

Willow sat back up, hair mussed. "Chasing Amy."

Tara laughed, noticing the open cage. "I see."

"Can you hold Kitty?"

"Sure." She scooped up Miss Kitty Fantastico, who vainly tried to wriggle out of her owner's grasp to resume hunting mode. "You can't eat Amy," Tara scolded, touching Kitty's nose.

"I was feeding her and Kitty scared her," Willow explained, head disappearing under the bed again. "C'mon Amy. Tara's got Kitty now. Please come out?"

"Shhh," Tara quieted the squirming cat in her arms. She looked around the room and noticed the full cauldron. "You were doing a spell?"

"There ya go," Willow soothed the beady-eyed rat in her hands and returned it to its cage. "Whew. That was a close one."

Tara let go of Kitty and reassured the rat, "Don't worry, Amy, you'll be a real girl again soon. Willow and I have almost everything in place."

"Almost. We're still waitin' on that feather of a Dodo bird." Willow lifted her brow and walked over to the altar. "But in the meantime..."

"What're you working on?"

"You know Sarah, down the hall?" Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Sex spell."

Tara giggled. "Her? You're kidding."

"Believe it or not." She stifled a chuckle. "She wants to 'loosen up with the boyfriend'."

"Um, can't that be dangerous?"

"No way. I've got just the right wording to keep it specific. And I'll give her instructions, so there won't be any overdosage. Besides," Willow reasoned, "loose for her is probably just breathing every once in a while."

She threw the last dash of powdery herb into the mix, and chanted steadily with a feather in hand, placing it atop the cauldron. A glittering pink light swirled in the air and dispersed, revealing two ripe, fuzzy peaches.

"Voila!" Willow said, holding up the fruits. "Magically delicious!"

"Why are there two?"

Willow shrugged. "I don't know, I was thinkin' maybe we could try it."

"Are you saying we need it?"

"No! Of course not. It might be fun, is all. Lose all inhibition with the one you love... Hm?"

"Vixen." Tara smiled. "Well, we can't do it now. We have to go to Dawn's party tonight."

"After?" Willow asked, and leaned in. "We could even go to a seedy motel."

"After," Tara agreed.

* * *

"I still think it's creepy," Buffy said, peering at the floor. "It's got thumbs."

"It's not an 'it', it's a she," Dawn corrected, pulling the fluffy calico kitten into her arms. "And her name is Pepper."

"Couldn't they have gotten you a normal cat? Without the opposable thumbs?"

"Willow said she's a special kind of breed."

"Of demon," Buffy grumbled, eying it suspiciously.

"Buffy, she was a birthday present from two of your best friends! I somehow doubt they'd give me a possessed kitten."

"I'm not saying they knew, you know how the Hellmouth is..."

"Buffy!"

"I'm sorry. I guess I just don't like cats." She shuddered. "They give me the heebies."

"I noticed," Dawn said. "Anyway, she's mine now, so you'll have to get used to her."

"Okay, okay." She reached out to pet Pepper, who backed up and hissed. "See? She doesn't like me either."

"Gee. I wonder why." Dawn put the kitten down. "So, is my cake ready?"

"Cake!" Buffy slapped herself on the forehead. "Oh my god, I forgot the cake!"

Dawn looked crestfallen.

"Dawn. I'm kidding! Of course I wouldn't forget." She smiled, then wagged a finger at her sister. "But it's not ready yet, and you're not having a single bite until you blow out the candles."

Dawn pouted. "You're no fun."

* * *

"Where's my favorite fifteen year old?" Xander called out, gift-wrapped presents in hand. Anya trailed in behind him.

"Over here," Dawn said, approaching the couple with a wide smile. "Unless there's another one I don't know about."

"Fifteen! Wow!" Anya cheered, attempting small talk. She slugged Dawn on the shoulder. "How's it feel?"

"Painful," Dawn answered, rubbing her shoulder.

"Oh. Sorry. I meant how does it feel to be a year older?"

"Like I'm still too young to do anything," Dawn replied, shooting a glare at her big sister.

"God, you guys," Buffy said, relieving Xander of his loot, "how many gifts did you get?"

"We got a little carried away at the mall," he confessed. "But anything for my girl!"

Returning Xander's bear hug, the birthday girl asked Buffy, "Can I open them now?"

"Let's wait for Will and Tara," Buffy said. "So we can all 'ooh' and 'aah' together."

"And Spike, right? He's coming too... You told him, right?"

"Uh-huh. He said he'd come."

"He'd better," Dawn said.

"He will," Buffy assured her, and shrugged. "I told him he had to."

"Spike always does whatever Buffy says," Anya noted.

Buffy gave her a look, and was about to retort when she heard knocking at the back door. "Speak of the devil..."

She traipsed through the kitchen and was surprised to see Willow and Tara through the panes of glass. "Hey guys!" She kissed their cheeks as they entered. "What's with the back way in?"

"We brought some foodstuffs," Willow explained. "Thought it was more kitcheny."

"Foodstuffs always welcome." She took the bags of snacks. "Xander and Anya just got here."

"Cake smells good," Tara said.

"I'm the bake-iest," Buffy said. "Did you bring the candles?"

"Got 'em." Willow dug into her backpack. "Here ya go."

"Good, that's everything." Buffy set them down near the icing. "They're in the living room, come on."

Willow tossed her backpack onto the kitchen counter before following Buffy and Tara through the house.

Boyband music chirped from the stereo. "It's a mix CD," Dawn was explaining to Xander. "My friend Michelle made it for me." She spotted Willow and Tara. "Hey!" She jumped up to hug the girls.

"Happy birthday, Dawnie!"

"Thanks!"

"How's the new kitten?"

Dawn pointed to Anya's lap, the kitten's current location. "I named her Pepper."

"Hello, little furry creature," Anya greeted uncomfortably, then shouted, "Aah! Xander! Xander! It's... touching me with its sharp claws!"

"She's only kneading," he said, trying to get Pepper to come to him.

"I don't care what it's called," she said, back arched away from the kitten. "Just — get it off! Off!"

Dawn rushed over and peeled the kitten off of Anya's pantlegs. "Sorry. She doesn't usually do that. She must like you."

"Well I don't like her," Anya groused.

"You and Buffy both."

"It's got thumbs," Buffy said, as if that explained everything.

"Some Maine Coon cats have extra digits," Willow told Buffy. "It's a rare trait."

"I think the thumbs are cute," Tara said. "And she's a sweetheart. She definitely proved her cuteness at the pet store."

"Yeah, she really chose _us,"_ Willow reminisced.

"This pet store," Buffy said offhandedly, "not called 'Ethan's' by any chance?"

"Relax, Buffy." Willow smiled. "It was just your run-of-the-mill mall chain."

"Buffy's just a big dummy, yes she is. You're not a demon, are you?" Dawn cooed to Pepper, who quickly jumped out of her arms and pounced back on Anya, mewing repeatedly.

"What? What do you want?" Anya begged the animal.

"She probably just wants you to pet her."

"Oh," the former demon said, and stiffly flattened her palm on Pepper's head. "Good cat." In response, the kitten howled and frantically scratched Anya's hand. "Ow!"

"Pepper," Dawn reprimanded. "That's not nice!"

Pepper slinked away, looking supremely annoyed.

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_Up next: Spike makes an entrance and makes awkward conversation with Buffy! But then, things take a hilarious yet sexy turn! CAN YOU GUESS WHY? Yeah, you probably can. Especially since it's in the summary._

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Characters and settings property of respective creators.  
Story, dialog and prose property of NautiBitz.  
All rights reserved. (IE, it is not okay to borrow it for your fic.)


	2. Ripe

**_Peaches & Herbs_ by NautiBitz**

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CHAPTER TWO:** "Ripe"**

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**Chapter summary**: Magic sex peach + Buffy + Spike = you do the math.

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**"Well, cake's almost ready, so it's presently present time,"** Buffy announced.

"But Spike's not here yet."

"He'll have to be filled in on the festivities then. We can't wait around anymore."

"Fine," Dawn relented, but quickly brightened. "What do I open first?"

Buffy picked up a wide envelope from the coffee table. "From Giles."

"Awww. He sent me something from England?"

Buffy nodded, and the gang shared an impromptu moment of silence for the Watcher's conspicuous absence.

Dawn opened the card. "Ooh, fifty bucks! I'm rich!" She waved the bill around.

"Doesn't even read the card," Buffy tsked with a head-shake.

"Yeah, yeah, Dear Dawn, blah blah blah," she squinted at Giles' tiny script. "Too many words. It's the money that counts!"

The gang took turns handing over packages, each gift eliciting a squeal from the birthday girl.

The last gift was unwrapped. "Yes! The _Moulin Rouge_ soundtrack! Thanks guys!" Dawn blew kisses at Xander and Anya.

"Sure thing, Dawnster." Xander addressed the gang. "It's what all the kids are listening to these days. Medleys of recycled pop songs performed by actors who can barely sing."

Dawn had already popped the CD into the stereo. "C'mon Xander, how could you not love this?" She grabbed Xander by the hand and pulled him up to dance as she sang along:

"Looove is a many splendored thing..."

Xander waltzed with Dawn, then grabbed Buffy from her place against the wall and spun her around.

"Stop, stop!" Buffy said, laughing. "I can't listen for the cake and dance at the same time!"

"C'mon, Buff!" Xander said, complete with cha-cha. "Loosen up!"

The buzzer went off in the kitchen. "Maybe later."

* * *

Buffy was spreading the last of the icing when there was a knock at the kitchen door.

She stood on tiptoe to see who it was, and smiled. Spike, soulless vampire, holding a bouquet of yellow roses.

Buffy opened the door and gasped in mock surprise, clutching her chest. "For me?"

"No," Spike snapped, "For Nibblet." Then he sheepishly pulled his other hand from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of pink roses. "These are for you."

Buffy stared at them, a warm feeling invading her body. "Oh." She took his offering, and impulsively dipped her nose to inhale the sweet fragrance. "Um, thanks. Come in."

Spike heard laughter and singing from the other room. "Sounds like she's having a good time."

"Yeah. I'm glad you finally showed."

He gazed at her, hope fleeting across his features.

"Dawn's been asking about you all night," Buffy quickly explained.

"Right," he said, the hope fizzling away. "Then I should—"

"Wait a sec," she said, licking an icinged finger. "Why don't you come out with the cake, you can surprise her."

"You want me to jump out of the cake? I don't think she's quite ready for that, love."

Buffy smirked. "Next to the cake. Walking. Singing. But, not too loud... I've heard your voice."

He chuckled. "Alright."

Spike stood against the counter and watched Buffy squeeze little flowers onto the cake rim. "Well, well. You're quite the little Betty Crocker, aren't you?"

"I never knew I could do this," she said proudly. "Well, at least it looks halfway decent. And the cake didn't fall. Just don't ask me to make filet mignon."

"I like mine raw anyway. Just a touch of gargonzola sauce on the side."

She looked at him. "What's a gargonzola?"

"It's tasty," he said with a quirk of his brow.

She shook her head and picked up a small tube to write on the cake. The music from the living room was turned up a notch, and the words were suddenly very clear.

_I was made for loving for you baby_  
_You were made for loving me..._

"That song AGAIN?" Buffy complained. "Now I'm gonna have to kill Xander for giving her that CD."

"I'll help," Spike offered.

Buffy snorted. "No, thanks."

As she busied herself with the candles, Spike tapped his fingers on the sink behind him and looked around.

Spotting a lone peach near an open bookbag, he picked it up, weighing it in his hand. "Haven't had one of these in forever," he said before taking a bite.

Buffy turned around. "Spike! That's Will...ow's..."

His eyes had rolled back in ecstasy. "Mm! This is brilliant! Are peaches always this good?" He held it out to her.

She shook her head.

"No, love, you've got to try it."

_You crazy fool_  
_I won't give in to you_

"No thanks."

"Come on," he urged. "Just a little taste."

Buffy sighed, and plucked the fruit from his hand, taking a small bite on the opposite side of the peach, nowhere near where he'd bitten it... Her eyes widened. "Wow."

"Am I right?"

"This _is_ good!" She took another bite. "This is... amazing!"

He took it back, munching greedily.

Her hand caught his, and they fought for control. She burst into laughter, and their eyes met.

She kissed him lightly on the lips.

Spike was stunned.

"Gimme," she said, swiping it back.

"Hey! You tricked me!"

She giggled, mouth full of peach. "I did."

He grabbed her by the back of her neck and smashed his mouth against hers.

The peach pit dropped to the floor.

_We should be lovers..._  
_Just for one day_

Buffy's hands tentatively slid up Spike's arms as their peach-flavored tongues intermingled.

Suddenly, she tugged his duster off his shoulders and shoved him against the kitchen island.

He gasped, shocked at her boldness. Especially when she unbuttoned his pants, and lowered to her knees.

"Buff—" He looked around him wildly, hoping no one would come in, and oh GOD who cared?

* * *

"I'll go see what's keeping her," Willow said, and entered the kitchen.

She saw Spike, back against the island, hand banging repeatedly on the counter. He looked like he needed help, and where was Buffy?

"Oh, Christ," she heard him sputter.

She took a step closer. "Sp—"

"Oh, yeah, Buffy...!"

Willow stood there in shock, jaw unhinged, then swiftly spun around, headed for the living room. _Gotta keep everyone away from the kitchen._

Why was Buffy doing that? With Spike? Or at all, during her sister's birthday? This just wasn't like her—

_Oh._

"Cake's on it's way," Willow announced nervously to the group. "Just a few more minutes!"

She grabbed Tara and pulled her to a dark corner. "Tara, remember that thing you said about how the peach might be dangerous?"

* * *

Spike couldn't take it anymore. Buffy's mouth was wonderful, but he had to have her, completely.

He pulled her up and flung her over the sink, face first. Lifting her skirt, he pushed her panties down to her knees and rubbed his hand appreciatively over her ample behind. Without thinking, he gave it a sound slap.

"AHH!" Buffy yelped.

Spike stared at his hand, astonished. He'd just inflicted pain, and... nothing. Not even a warning shock.

He could spank her!

Face breaking out into a wicked grin, he dipped his fingers inside of her, using his free hand to dispense a few more spankings.

"You're being very bad," he said, bending down to her ear.

Buffy encouraged him with a whimper.

"Daddy's gonna have to punish you now."

Buffy shivered and moaned as he readied himself at her slick opening.

He thrust into her with one swift motion, and Buffy cried out in pain, feeling the tip of his cock stab at the center of her belly.

"Holy shit," she breathed, grasping at the sinktop, adjusting to his size.

"That's right," Spike sneered, hand sliding down her back. "Get used to it."

He marveled that her inner walls could contract even more when he struck her. She was already squeezing the hell out of him.

Spike yanked her up so he could hold her breasts, feel her hot body against him. He rolled a nipple in his fingers and pinched it, hard.

God, he loved the sound of her voice when she was in pain.

"You like that, do you?" His eyes flashed yellow.

Buffy's hand wrapped around his ass, the other raked through his hair. "Spike... unh..."

He watched the jugular vein pulse on her bared neck. A shiver ran through him.

"I could just eat you up."

* * *

"So, where's my cake?"

"Your cake?" Willow said quickly. "Uh, Buffy had a little fiasco in the kitchen." Wild-eyed, she turned to Tara.

"We're gonna go help her," Tara said. "Stay here."

Standing outside of the kitchen door, attempting to tune out the distinct sex noises, the witches discussed their options.

"It's not gonna wear off soon enough," Willow said.

"How long does it last?"

"Well, it depends on how much they ate—" They heard a bestial roar. "And judging from that, I'm guessing they ate the whole thing. It could last 'til tomorrow."

"So we have to reverse it."

"I can't. I need—" She helplessly motioned to the kitchen. "My bag."

"Well, go get it!"

"You go get it!"

"I'm not gonna get it," Tara said.

"I can't get it," Willow whispered. "She's my best friend, I can't see her like that!"

"I think it's better _you_ see her like that than me."

"Oh fer crying out—" and they did, "loud..." Willow marched into the kitchen.

With pure tunnel vision, she headed straight for her backpack.

"Will," Spike greeted casually, and grunted into his paramour's hair.

Willow straightened. "Uh, hi," she said weakly, refusing to look at the intertwined couple. "Don't mind me." She grabbed her bag and ran out.

She didn't see the blood on Spike's mouth, or the fresh puncture wounds on Buffy's shoulder. Or the kitten rubbing against Spike's leg.

"Was that..." Buffy gasped, "Willow?"

"Yeah," he said with a grimace, pulling her downward.

"Oh," she said on an exhale, and brought his head back to her neck. "More biting now."

* * *

"Good thing I brought these," Willow said, shaking a bag of herbs. "Just in case."

Tara looked disappointed. "I was kinda looking forward to that motel visit."

"We can still go." Willow smiled saucily. "We don't need no peaches."

Tara laughed. "No, we really don't, do we?"

"Not like _some_ people," Willow added, jerking her head towards the kitchen. "But, I guess now we know how Buffy really feels."

"True. But I think there must be better ways."

"With Buffy? Probably not."

They sat in front of the kitchen door and readied the reversal spell.

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_Continued..._

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Characters and settings property of respective creators.  
Story, dialog and prose property of NautiBitz.  
All rights reserved. (IE, it is not okay to borrow it for your fic.)


	3. Surprise!

**_Peaches & Herbs_ by NautiBitz**

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**CHAPTER THREE:** "Surprise!"**

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Chapter summary**: Time to wake up and smell the peaches!

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**Buffy felt the air shift around her**, felt the kitchen counter under her palms, and oh yeah, Spike — driving into her from behind and suckling on her neck.

Spike blinked as reality hit. He was fucking Buffy in her kitchen. It was Dawn's birthday. Everyone was in the living room. He slowed his rhythm to a stop.

"Spike?" she asked breathlessly.

Was she going to stake him now? It would be kind of difficult from that position... "Yeah?"

"Spike, oh God." Her hand flew to her neck. "Oh God! Stop." It seemed reality had hit her too.

Still erect, he pulled out. She spun around and stared at him, eyes wide.

They tried to read each other, tried to figure out what had just happened. At once, their minds reached the same conclusion.

"The peach."

"You... idiot!" Buffy lunged.

Spike ducked and fended her off. "What? I'm not the one who enchanted the bloody thing!"

"You're the one who ate it!"

"Not the only one," he said smugly, savoring the last of her blood on his tongue.

"Well, you started..." she trailed off, catching a glimpse of his lower half and turning deep crimson. She spun to face the sink and ordered with a nervous laugh, "Pants! Pants ON!"

Spike was amused by Buffy's sudden embarrassment. It was in such opposition to the way she'd just behaved.

As he fastened his jeans, he saw his shirt... draped over the refrigerator?

Buffy straightened her clothes, then wet a paper towel to swab the shallow wounds on her neck and shoulder. Luckily, she could feel them healing already.

Willow appeared in the doorway. "Hi, guys," she said sheepishly. "Everything okay?"

"Just peachy," Spike accused, pulling on his duster.

Willow looked horribly guilty.

Buffy sighed. "We're okay. Is everybody... do they..."

"They have no clue," Willow confirmed.

"Oh thank God."

"Buffy?" Willow walked closer. "Did he... bite you?"

"Oh." She flung the paper towel into the trash. "It's nothing. It's fine."

Willow frowned at Spike, who immediately stared at the floor. "No inhibitions," she repeated to herself, and covered her mouth. "Oh, God! I knew it was dangerous, but not that dangerous!"

"Wait a _minute,"_ Spike said firmly, holding up his hand. "She was never in danger."

"It's true," Buffy insisted, hiding the marks with her hair. "No danger, Will. Promise."

Spike smiled. So now Buffy knew: chip or no chip, he would never hurt her... too badly. Nothing she didn't want, anyway. He quivered at the memory of her whispered plea: _'Do it; do it; bite me...'_

As long as he unlived, he'd never forget those words, or the feeling of her tight channel quaking around him when she'd said them. And when he bit down...

"If you say so." Willow surveyed them. "Do you think you're ready for the cake part?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "Do I look presentable?"

"You're good to go," Willow assured her.

"At least the cake is unscathed." Buffy shot a glance at Spike's bedhead. "Spike. Your hair?"

He tilted his head and gave her a cynical look. "Yeah. Wait here while I go check in the mirror."

Buffy sighed. "Come here." He obeyed. Turning on the kitchen faucet, she dipped her hands in water and tended to his hair. "There. You'll just have to be a little spikier than normal."

Spike was too touched by her affectionate preening to respond.

Willow helped place and light the candles, and Buffy carried the cake on a wide tray.

"Lights out!" Willow called.

When the birthday song was over and the cake was set down, Dawn sassed, "Took you long enough!"

"I had a little kitchen mishap," Buffy explained. "Spike helped, though."

Spike chuckled, turning it into a cough when Buffy glared.

"And you!" Dawn beamed at Spike. "I thought you weren't coming."

Buffy's thoughts involuntarily turned to that very event. At the moment he sank his teeth into— _Stop thinking NOW._

"Miss your birthday? What sort of monster do you think I am?" He kissed her cheek and passed her the yellow bouquet.

"The strangely not so evil kind," Dawn said, smelling the flowers.

_Tell that to my bite marks,_ Buffy thought with a smirk.

"You should blow out the candles now," Anya said. "It's customary to blow them out. After the song."

Xander rubbed Anya's shoulder affectionately.

"I just had to complain first," Dawn said, setting the bouquet down on the couch. She inhaled and blew out all fifteen candles... which promptly lit up again.

Tara and Willow giggled.

"Ha ha, very funny," Dawn said, while the kitten jumped onto the coffee table, skittered past the candles and lit its own tail ablaze. "Oh my god, Pepper! Get her! Get her!"

Buffy dove for the kitten, but in a fraction of a second it was enveloped in flames and grew, morphing before their eyes into a tall slender creature in a floor-length tortoiseshell cloak.

"I KNEW it!" Buffy exclaimed, palm smacking the carpet where she'd landed.

Dawn hid behind Spike, who reached into the weapons chest. Pulling out a crossbow, he handed it to Buffy.

"Pepper?" Dawn asked, eyes wide.

The creature spoke with a thickly accented, crackling drawl. "Anyanka!"

"Whoa!" Xander jumped in front of his fiancée. "Whatever you want with her, you go through me first."

"Why would I do that? I do not know you," the creature said dismissively, and let its furry hood fall, revealing a hybrid human-feline face with the saucery eyes of a cat.

Anya peeked past Xander. "Oh! Hey Gelgor! It's... been a long time!"

Eyes never leaving the demon, Xander asked over his shoulder, "What is it?"

"It's the demon Gelgor of Everwhere," Anya answered.

Tara whispered to Willow, "Isn't that a Neil Gaiman book?"

"No, that's _Neverwhere_," Willow whispered back.

Anya walked past Xander and approached Gelgor. "So, how've you been?"

"I've been trapped in the form of a common housepet, how do you think I've been?" The demon's amber eyes flashed.

"Right. Well, I know the feeling! I'm trapped in the body of a mortal girl 'til the day I die and decompose in the ground," she said conversationally as Xander winced. "No getting out of that one!"

"So I've heard," Gelgor said. "I am sorry for that."

"Oh, it's okay. I've adjusted." She linked her arm through Xander's.

"Ah yes, the valiant boyfriend."

"Fiancé."

"Whatever."

Xander piped up. "Listen, Grizabella—"

"So, trapped in a cat, huh?" Anya spoke loudly over her fiancé and shot him a withering look.

The demon waved her taloned hand in a grand gesture. "I had a little disagreement with someone who turned out to be a sorcerer. Cursed me to my cat-like state forever... Or so he thought."

"She can turn back and forth at will, usually," Anya explained to Xander, and added quietly, "And she's capable of much more if you get her angry."

"Should I slay it?" Buffy asked, eying Gelgor suspiciously.

"No!" Anya said. "She used to be a friend of mine."

Buffy relaxed her grip on the crossbow. It was somehow difficult to kill demons they knew. Spike, for instance. But that wasn't the point... "Is she evil?"

"Who is this child?" Gelgor said, pointing at Buffy. "I do not like her."

"Most demons don't," Buffy retorted.

"She's the Slayer," Anya said.

"How very droll! A housepet in the house of a slayer," the demon declared with a chuckle.

Anya knit her brow. "How'd you get out? Of the cat."

"Ah, lucky break." Gelgor swayed from side to side as she continued. "Everything was in balance and out of balance at once. Magickal energies... came to a head, so to speak." She glanced at Spike. "I was hoping the witches would keep me, of course, as they'd provide what I needed to escape eventually. But this worked out just as well."

Anya frowned. "Magickal energies? There was no magick here tonight. Plus you need sex and bloodshed, everyone knows that!"

Buffy's eyes widened.

Xander blinked. "What? And Dawn, cover your ears!"

Dawn rolled her eyes.

Anya counted off on her fingers as she spoke. "The demons of Everwhere need blood, sex, fire and magick to be transformed from an accursed state."

"Like I said." The demon revealed a hideous row of gnarled teeth. "Lucky break."

Xander looked around the room. "Well I know _we_ didn't make like the Red Hot Chili Peppers."

"Yeah!" Anya nodded indignantly, then frowned at her fiancé. "What?"

"Is there... something we should know?" Xander asked the other guests.

"Who wants cake?" Buffy announced cheerily. "Gelgor? Cake?"

"No, thank you. I only eat children."

Buffy stopped and stared, horrified.

"I'm just kidding, dear." The demon laughed, and pointed. "Gotcha!"

Unamused, Buffy looked to Anya.

Anya nodded with pursed lips. "She's a kidder."

"Well, I must be going. I'm simply itching for a tall glass of Vintage Cuvée." Gelgor turned to Willow. "Thanks for the freedom, dear."

"Hey, don't just thank me..."

"And you, too." She tickled Spike's chin and made a sound close to a purr. "Very nice..." her eyes lowered to his crotch, and back to his face, "...legs. Thanks for the view."

"Don't mention it," Spike said guardedly, not moving a muscle.

Xander stared at Willow and Spike. Willow... and Spike? No way. Couldn't be.

"It was good to see you again, Anyanka."

"Same here," Anya said. "Take care!"

Gelgor glided out the door, and Anya locked it behind her.

Dawn stood there, glowering, and stomped a foot. "Why is NOTHING ever NORMAL around here?"

* * *

"Dawnie," Tara said. "I'm so sorry about the kitten. We can get you another one... One that's not a shapeshifting catmonster from Neverwhere."

"Everwhere," Anya corrected.

Dawn smiled. "Thanks, Tara. But Buffy's right, we just shouldn't have animals here."

"Wait a minute. Did I just hear a 'Buffy's right'?" Xander asked, cleaning out his ears.

"Only this one time," Dawn grumbled.

In the kitchen, Buffy was arranging Spike's flowers into vases. The little note that came with her bouquet — the one that said _'All my love, forever, Spike'_ — was tucked into the front of her dress. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with it, but she wasn't about to leave it lying around.

Willow sat on a stool at the island. "I am so sorry, Buffy."

"It's not your fault," Buffy said. "It was _your_ peach. _Spike_ had to go and steal it. The crook."

"But you had some too — right?"

"No," Buffy said, looking her squarely in the eye. "I just said, Spike take me I'm yours, guests and little sister be damned. Of course I ate some! Why do you think it happened? Because I'm hopelessly in love with Spike?" She laughed.

"Actually," Willow said, standing, broaching the subject carefully. "The spell was very specific."

"What do you mean, specific?" Buffy asked warily.

"It only works with someone you have strong romantic feelings for."

Stilled, Buffy stared at Willow for a good minute. She looked down. "Oh." Then, "Are you sure, because—"

"I'm sure."

Buffy took a deep breath, and another, and started to hyperventilate.

"Oh Buffy, are you okay?" Willow put an arm around her friend.

"I, I'm, I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Okay, it's okay. Let's get you to a toilet."

"Okay," Buffy breathed, holding onto her friend for support.

Spike emerged from the destined powder room. "You alright, Buffy?"

Buffy's breathing slowed as she looked at him.

Willow decided she should leave them alone. "You'll be okay here?"

Buffy nodded.

Spike shifted. "I was just getting ready to go."

"Spike," she said.

"Yeah?" He looked into her eyes with unabashed adoration.

And finally, it hit her. Everything she'd been denying. Everything she'd tried to reason away since they'd become so close, and since he'd proved himself to her again and again.

She rested a hand on his arm. "Stay?"

He blinked, and took a deep breath, nodding. Fireworks burst in his brain. As casually as he could, he answered, "Alright."

The space between them closed and their lips touched, their fingers weaving through one another's hair.

"Hey," Dawn said, leaning against the hallway doorjamb with her arms crossed. "Get a room, why dontcha."

They tore apart guiltily and turned to the smiling birthday girl.

Dawn said nonchalantly, "I told you she'd admit it sooner or later."

Buffy's brow rose, and Dawn sauntered away.

Spike, who appeared to be on the verge of a spontaneous jig, took Buffy's hands in his and said coolly, "Smart kid."

Buffy smirked. "You think I have something to admit?"

He tilted his chin. _Baby likes to play._ "Well... yeah."

"I admit nothing."

"You will," he said, moving in on her ear. "Even if I have to bite it out of you."

Buffy shivered, eyes rolling back. "Uh," she whimpered, and gently pushed him away. "Stop. Guests. Still guests."

"And what do you plan to do with me when they're gone?"

"Mm," she shrugged, taking his hand with a smile and leading him out to the living room. "Maybe bite _you_ for a change."

He inhaled sharply.

How could he possibly face guests now?

* * *

_EPILOGUE_

_

* * *

_

Buffy filled the tub, watching a thick layer of bubbles rise.

A cool hand brushed against her hair. "Why do I smell peach?"

She smiled at her lover. "Just a little gift from Willow."

"Really," Spike said with a wicked grin.

She nodded. "A little less potent this time, but..."

"But...?"

"Just potent enough."

Growling, Spike swept Buffy into his arms, and stepped into the tub.

She giggled as they sank down into the aromatic bath.

His eyes shifted from blue to sapphire, and Buffy gasped in arousal when he pulled her close. "Better watch out, baby," he said, fingertip sliding down her neck.

She whimpered involuntarily.

"Daddy's back."

* * *

_THE END_

* * *

Characters and settings property of respective creators.  
Story, dialog and prose property of NautiBitz.  
All rights reserved. (IE, it is not okay to borrow it for your fic.)


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